June 2009
7 posts
Scary story!
One dark night (also, it was a stormy night), I was driving my car through the countryside, when I saw a girl on the side of the road. She couldn’t have been more than 25. I picked her up; she told me she lived just up the road, and I agreed to drive her there. When we arrived at the house, I reached ino the back seat to grab an umbrella, but when I turned back, the girl was gone. I...
Ketchup sandwiches
When my dad was growing up, as one of 9 or 12 kids, sometimes he would have ketchup sandwiches. For FOOD.
Happy Father’s Day!
Evil twin
I saw a guy in town today who looked exactly like me. I think he was my twin: my evil twin. He had shifty eyes, so when I saw that he had a puppy, I got scared he was going to eat it or do something terrible, because he just seemed evil. Then I saw him give a lollipop to a baby, and I thought for sure he was going to steal it back to make the thing cry, but I guess that would be too evil even...
Bureaucracy
Example:
Three bills for my emergency room visit instead of one
Brazil
City of Chicago residential parking stickers
Scott Waguespack’s 32nd Ward Alderman’s office
“If you’re a professional humorist it means you’re only kind of...”
Hello hello
You should probably be engaged to a doctor.
