There is a new enemy. Freaks of nature who interfere with our business. Find them. Together we will punish these…creatures. These…turtles…
— Shredder
Socks
I like wearing my black ski socks, because they’re warm and comfortable. Initially, I was wary; dress socks are black and dress socks are uncomfortable. Luckily, it turns out that the only trait that my ski socks shared with dress socks was the color (they did not share the uncomfortability trait.)
At the docks
“…but I had pulled through, if only on hands and knees. I made my way casually to the waterfront and hopefully the ship that would take me to my man on the other side: Red 82. I prayed I wasn’t too late with my precious cargo (religion reserved for emergency only); I signed the Cross with my right hand and patted the .45 in my jacket with my left. God I didn’t want to use it, but I understood that somewhere on the road ahead I was going to have to do more than talking to make my point.”
-excerpt from my autobiography, “Action Reverend”
Got tight last night on absinthe. Did knife tricks.
— Ernest Hemingway
HOPE.
It was cool for a while, but now I’m into the new Dirty Projectors album.
Friendship
If you want to borrow money from me, I’m going to throw it on the ground for you to pick up. Sorry, that’s my policy.
Life is like a bottle kind of
If I had the right kind of opener, I could use it to open this bottle and demonstrate how life is just like an open, flowing bottle. But since I don’t, let me tell you how life is exactly like a tightly closed bottle.
Nice and slow
Instead of stop-smoking aids, how about start-smoking aids? Something like a patch that increases in small increments, that way, you don’t just jump rashly into smoking; you ease into it, nice and slow.
Happiness
Sometimes I wish I could invent a magic pill that would make everyone happy and the world a better place, and I would give it to everyone for free. Then when they came back for more, I’d sell it for a hundred dollars a pop.
